09 May 2017

New Ear Tubes

We woke up before the sun this morning, Abigail and I did, to have new tubes put in Abigail's ears. They are basically standard issue with Down syndrome. It's a very quick, simple, out patient procedure with virtually no complications, but does involve general anesthesia.

Last time we had it done, Abigail woke up a total grouch, whiny and moaning. But this time, when I met her in recovery, she was perky and flirting with a bevy of nurses. She was all "please" and "thank you" and eating an orange popsicle. She waved enthusiastically at every passerby while we waited to be discharged.

"They match orange."
"Is she always this happy?" one nurse asked me. I laughed. "No."
"Oh," she was disappointed, I sensed a bit of disbelief in her voice.
"No one is happy all the time." I forget that people think Down syndrome means she's always happy. I have three children under six, sometimes I forget to brush my hair.

It's really hard for me to slip back into my regular routine when we have morning appointments. It's ridiculous, I know, how hard it is to get back on track, like I missed the beginning of a song and I can't pick it up half way through. But I'm tired! Matt didn't clean up the breakfast dishes! Look, new Instagram comments! Usually the day gets thrown away. "Sorry I didn't make dinner," I tell Matt when he gets home from work. "We had a tired, lazy day." It's annoying and stupid and a cheap excuse. I just never got my shit back together after this morning. I'm always trying new strategies to get myself back on track. They work until they don't. Lately I've been trying another strategy with mixed results. I read about it on a Catholic mommy blog somewhere. "Just pick a few things you want to get done. If those are the only things that get done that day, you'll consider it a success." I picked five things and I wrote them down in my bullet journal/planner.

I'm tired, I don't feel like it, Theodore is grouchy. Just get these few things done, that's it. Just five small tasks. Sometimes I don't get up on time and then the whole things feels worthless. I can't check them all off! I'm a failure! What's the point in going any further?! Sometimes the list propels me to keep going. I have to get up! If I don't, I won't be able to check off the box! All right, I'm going to go see how many more boxes I can check off before the witching hour hits. Wish me luck.

1 comment:

nichole davis said...

I have been in a real funk lately. My Dad has been in the hospital for nearly 2 months on the other side of the state and my anxiety is trying to take over my life again! The list thing helps and sometimes my best friend and I will send each other before picture of task that we can realistically accomplish in one hour and then we send a completed picture of send task after the hour is over. It is fun to race the clock and then you feel so accomplished afterwards.

On the ear/tubes topic. We went swimming over the weekend and Mya's ears most have gone under the water. She came home with horrible brown drainage yesterday from school. The doctor said it was just earwax thinned out by the chlorine water. She still couldn't see her tube because there was more wax in the way. This morning there was even more all dried to her ear. Little ones with Down syndrome and their tiny ear canals!