We are moving full-steam ahead with the book release! I am on target for Easter Monday. While it's exciting, it's also incredibly nerve racking. I'm suddenly filled with intense self doubt: I'm a terrible writer and my book is awful. The cover is bland, the title too similar to another Ds memoir on the market. I'm stricken with the conviction that making my family this vulnerable is a terrible idea and I'm a selfish brat for wanting to move forward.
That moment right before you see the finish line is the moment that fear will do anything to win.
Right now I'm refusing to pass the "talking stick" to that despairing part of me. I'm running ahead as fast as I can, trusting the me who did all that writing and editing. She worked hard for this, and I think her story is intriguing. I'm also clinging to every word in The War of Art right now, a book I totally recommend to any and all creatives.
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Nursing my second-born is officially a thing of the past. I tried to bring back my supply, but was unsuccessful. It took a good cry and a long run, but I finally came to terms with it. I even managed to find a hint of silver lining in my new reality: one less thing to stress about at my sister-in-law's wedding in May (my bridesmaid dress would not have been easy to nurse in). My biggest concern now is finding a way to prevent it from happening with our next baby. I have also noticed that the change in hormones that accompanies weaning has fueled a resurgence in postpartum depression. Of course.
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One last bit. This one fun, I promise. I absolutely love delighting in the frilly pinkness of having two girls. Need I remind you of the greatest shoes in the history of shoes?
*Swoon* Okay. But have you ever wondered to yourself what poor Matt does with two uber girly girls? Well let me assure you, these two girly girls love to wrestle and have an obsession with sporty balls.