I got into a car accident today. Yesterday, I guess, because it is 1:26 in the morning and I got hit at 10:24pm on Friday night. He hit me. With Eleanor in the car. We are okay. The side airbags deployed. All the way down the driver's side of the car. Eleanor got in a car accident and she is only nine months old and that kills me.
I have to write. I need to tell someone in order to process this and I've already told Matt a hundred times. I have to tell you. Okay, deep breaths.
It was late at night and very, very cold with strong winds. The road was very patchy, with snow drifts blowing across. I was driving west-bound, he was coming east-bound. When his car got close, he came into my lane. Slowly, smoothly. I screamed. I swerved. There was that sickening sound of car metal smashing against car metal. I looked in the backseat. Eleanor was startled awake, she was moving, a startled cry followed. The side airbags deployed and my car started honking.
I can't get the image out of my head of his car drifting into my lane. His headlights are blazing in my memory. My whole body braced. I screamed.
I climbed out the passenger side of the car. I checked on Eleanor. I called 911. The other driver came over as I was hanging up. I asked him for his name. I asked him what happened. He told me his tires lost traction. They pulled him left. My adrenaline was pumping, my whole body was shaking. My car horn kept beeping, even though I pulled out the keys. I called Matt. Everyone who drove by stopped to check on us. Neighbors came out to offer help. I realized I was just down the street from my mother-in-law's house, so I called. The cops came. They talked to me first. My car was in my lane. His car was down a bit, sideways off the road.
His headlights were round. Bright white with circle yellow running lights on the outsides. I can still see them - out my front windshield. He is too close for his headlights to be in my front windshield. My heart dropped. I screamed.
The cops finally arrived. In a white Dodge charger, red and blue lights flashing my rescue. My hands were so cold I couldn't feel my fingers. It is -30 degrees with windchill outside. The worst night of the year to be in a car accident. The cops took my statement and I loaded Eleanor into my father-in-law's car. They took her to their warm house and rocked her back to sleep while my sister-in-law stayed with me. She talked to the tow truck and gave me her gloves. There was a lot of pain in my fingers and toes as feeling returned to them. Between the adrenaline and the cold, my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. He hit me. With my baby in the car.
He was young. I could hear him as he made his way to my car, "Mom? I got into a car accident." I was so mad at him. This is life-changing. Accidents are life changing. Memories forever etched. Large sums of money paid. Maybe new cars purchased. The airbags deployed all along the side of the car. Not the side Eleanor was on. The driver's side got hit and Eleanor sits on the passenger's side. There were random shards of metal sticking out of my wheel well. Why did he do this to me? I couldn't stop repeating, "I was in my lane. He hit me. I was in my lane. He hit me." How dare he be in my lane? How dare he do this to me? My baby was in the car.
My middle and ring finger on my left hand are tingling. My lower back hurts. I didn't notice until the adrenaline diminished. The complication? I got mastitis on Thursday.
Mastitis. This is my third time getting it. I didn't even know you could get it with a baby as old as Eleanor. I think it's because she went from constant sucking to sleeping through the night so quickly. It totally threw off my body. So anyway, all Thursday into Friday morning I had a fever, chills, body aches, and migraines with pain down my heck. My upper hamstrings where they connect to the glutes would lock up. I started some antibiotics on Friday afternoon, but I still have some symptoms. So I don't know what's from mastitis and what's from the car accident. And what's from being so cold that I couldn't feel my fingers and toes. We are all going to Urgent Care first thing in the morning. Just to be sure. We will have to call family to drive us there because we only have one car and that car is now sitting in a tow yard. But my nine-month-old was in a car accident and that is very, very terrible.
My left arm is starting to hurt. What is from mastitis and what is from getting in a car accident? I knew it was coming. I tried to swerve. I tried to stop the car. I wasn't going very fast. It was not a hard hit.
I am so ... I can't find words. I am buzzing. I feel very thankful. I feel very anxious. I can't stop checking on Eleanor. Babies shouldn't be in car accidents.