17 March 2014

Contradictions

Abigail keeps signing/saying, "All done," but when I move to put the crackers away, she gets mad. So I pull another out, give it to her, she eats it. And as I reach for another, and she says, "All done." On one hand: What the heck? On the other, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!

I feel like a total contradiction. I'm excited to give birth and meet this baby, but I don't feel emotionally connected the way most of my friends describe themselves being with their unborn child. I'm bored, but I still have laundry, vacuuming, and some couponing stuff to do plus Abigail would totally not mind if I got down on the floor to play with her. I'm dying to get out of the house, but not really looking forward to Bible study tomorrow. I'm hungry, but the only foods that sound good right now are blueberry muffins, pumpkin muffins, and chocolate (which I gave up for Lent). I'd love some time to myself, but if someone showed up at my door and said, "Here's $100 and a free babysitter for as long as you need her," I don't even know what I'd do. I'm too restless to sit in a coffeeshop and read, I'm too pregnant to hit the gym, it's too cold to go for a walk. Not even wandering the aisles of Target sounds like fun, my friends. That's what kind of a weird mood I'm in right now. Greeted with the prospect of spring-printed towels, flower-scented candles, and a new bottle of nail polish, all I can think is This apartment is way too small to store seasonal towels. And I'm not much of a clothing/shoes/purse shopper anyway - being 31 weeks pregnant is totally not when I think trying on clothes and heels sounds like a fun time. I don't want to wander a bookstore because it will only remind me of how many books I already own that I haven't yet read, and I don't want to buy Abigail new toys because bending over to pick up the toys she currently has is already enough work for me.

But Abigail and I are sitting here in this little apartment going stir-crazy. And Abigail has got a bad case of the giggles. And I have no idea what I'd even want to do given free money and use of a car.

If I lived in Chicago, I'd probably still be in this same predicament because it would still be cold there. But if I lived in Florida, I'd totally be at the beach right now. Beaches are free and very distracting for kids. And it isn't cold at the beach. And it's way easier to brush off sand than mud.

Ahhhh, beach, I miss you!


Well, that is honestly all the excitement I can drum up for this post, so I'm going to reference an article that has inspired some dreams for summer plans: Family Adventure Without Travel, written by a huge role model of mine.

And lastly, to sign off, here are some random pictures from late that I haven't managed to make work in another post.






1 comment:

Cam Wollner said...

The stir craziness of this March is driving me crazy! I'm really hoping today really is in the 40s because I'm obsessing over getting outside to walk for the first time in months!

And I can totally relate to feeling all done and then not wanting the crackers (or whatever food I'm eating) to actually be put away!