18 February 2014

The Light at the End of the Sickness

We appear to be out of the sickness woods. Abigail and Matt are back 100% and I'm probably at 95%. Much to my despair, I was not spared the stomach bug and did, in fact, have a head cold and the stomach flu while I was six months pregnant. My upset stomach must have been bothering the baby because she normally hangs out really low, but these last few days, she's been up super high kicking me in the stomach. I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle vomiting so much, as the left side of my abs where they connect to the pelvis has been throbbing. As if life couldn't get any worse, my kidney also started acting up while I was sick. I'm pretty sure I told Matt something along the lines of, "This is it. I'm going to die. And if I don't, we are never getting pregnant again."

Ah, thank goodness such pain is easy to forget once health returns.

The good news in all of this is that Matt had Monday off (Happy Birthday, Washington), so he only missed one day and one hour of work during our battle of Entire Family Sickness. We are trying to bank as much sick/vaycay time as we can so he can take some time off when the baby is born. His employer does not offer a paternity leave, but does have generous sick/vaycay days.

All of us being too sick to do anything other than lay on the couch and moan meant that Matt and I had a lot of time to talk about some of our more frustrating issues. I think I've briefly mentioned in previous posts that I feel like we have all these Big Deal things to make decisions about and I feel like we need to make decisions right now. They include things like buying a house/staying where we are another year, buying a second car, stuff like that. We've been re-hashing the same points and re-rejecting the same list of possible solutions for a frustratingly long time now, but having a long weekend of staying home and talking was significantly beneficially. We came to a compromise on nearly all of our issues. While the solutions aren't ideal (ie, we aren't buying a second car right now), we did figure out how to relieve some of the building discomfort. I feel like we took things down from a "this has to change Right. Now" scenario to an "I can live with this and offer my hardships up" kind of situation. It's so relieving to have those issues off our shoulders. And I think our marriage is stronger for having dealt with them.

Today the weather hovered above freezing, so Abigail and I went out for a brief stroll. We didn't dare leave the apartment complex as the city we live in has given up plowing sidewalks at this point - staying in the complex allowed us to walk in the street when the snow was too high to trudge through. Abigail is a bit too young yet to find the snow much fun, and in most places, the snow is practically above her head anyway. But it was glorious to get outside. In the sun. We could even see concrete in some places. I have been very careful not to wish that winter were over or that spring were here. Life is goes by fast enough without wishing it would hurry up. But I don't think it's too anti-"live in the moment" to be glad that the snow drifts are starting to shrink.

Well, I should wrap this up as Abigail is not going to fall back asleep at this point. Lately she has had such an attitude and I keep waiting for it to pass. "Well, she's just stir crazy from being inside all the time." Then it was, "Well, she's just sick." Then back to, "She's just stir crazy. She needs more playtime with kids her age." Then she was sick again. But I've come to realize that Abigail is in a terrible twos stage. Little Miss Attitude has discovered selective hearing and realized that if she goes completely limp, I can't make her go pick up that toy she just threw. It is so maddening! She hits when she's mad now, and she'll get revenge on me by digging through drawers she knows she's not allowed to be in. The little stinker would rather run through the house dumping clean laundry everywhere than helpfully take an armload of folded socks to the dresser. She's always had a sassy streak, but my helpful little princess has turned into Miss My Way or the Highway. All my old tactics to quell the terrible twos are no longer effective (give her a job to do, show her how to help you, praise her efforts). I need to schedule in some time this week to research teaching patience to toddlers. In the meantime, if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.


Anonymous said...

Aaaah, advice on teaching patience to a toddler....ahem....a little LOL there...:-). It amazes me when my 2.85 year old would rather sit in a chair and sulk than play with friends and new toys because its SO UNBEARABLY PAINFUL to say, "I'm sorry, Mom" in a respectful and moderate tone.

"My way or the highway" is right. My only advice is consistency. Whatever you do, be consistent.

It's also helpful at times to look at your child who's throwing a tantrum or being a giant stick in the mud and remember that sometimes, I feel the same way inside -my will rebels and I pout like the best of them, but it all happens on the inside, because I have something they don't have: self-control.

Being able to look at your child in this state and simultaneously laugh at yourself and the inescapable human condition takes the edge off the toddler years. :-)

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Anonymous said...

Mario and I often remark, in the midst of tantrums, "Golly, you're just a little human being, aren't you?!" :-)

Amelia@One Catholic Mama said...

Glad you are feeling better!! We're in the throes of sickness here...but the problem with having a "biggish" family is that it's like dominoes...first one kid gets sick, then another, then another. So, the whole thing get dragged out way too long. LOL

Teaching patience to toddlers...fun times. My advice..um...wait for them to grow up. LOL Kidding, kidding. Really, my philosophy of parenting is to give them freedom within boundries. So you make a boundry (like they have to pick up their toys) but you give them freedom within that "Do you want to pick up the doll or the train first?"

Somw books I really like are "Parenting with Grace" (they are very much into attachment parenting, so if you like that philosophy you might like them) and "Playful Parenting".

Sounds like Abigail might have a choleric personlity...that's the whole "My Way or the Highway" attitude. Cholerics can be great, especialy girls because when they get older they can be super helpful. But, the bad part of their personality is that they tend to be bossy, so you kinda hve to channel that bossiness construcitvely. Give her "little things" to be in charge of (like feeding the cats or picknig out her clothes....simple things) and if she is in control of "something' it might help her accept the out of control things more. Maybe. LOL