14 July 2013

In which I swear humorously

Next week, I'll be blogging from Michigan.

Yes, next week.

We are within the two-week mark; one week from this Friday. Not this Friday, but next Friday.

At some point during the first year of law school, I didn't recognize my life anymore, and I had a complete meltdown. I can't remember if I had blogged or Facebook-status-updated about my meltdown, but a wise friend pointed out (something to the effect of) I was just being struck all-at-once by the hugeness of all our huge life changes. Sometimes I feel like that again.

Sometimes, believe it or not, I still get struck by the fact that Abigail has Down syndrome! The other day, I was reading something about Ds, and I turned to myself with an incredulous look and asked, "Holy shit, Jacqueline, did you know you have a kid with Down syndrome?" Sometimes I even tell myself, "Holy shit, you have a kid." It's a weird feeling. It's probably weirder for my parents, I mean, they have a kid who has a kid. That'll be a weird day for me.

In the spring and in the fall, someone will reference a holiday and I find myself trying to remember what month it is now. "Oh, we got it at Christmas!" I paste a polite smile on my face while I try to figure out if that was a long time or short time ago. Christmas is in December, this is ... trying to remember what my planner said the last time I checked it ... May, right, May! So that was ... five months ago, which is almost half a year. That was a little while ago. Phew! Then I update my facial expression and add some related verbal commentary. Spring and fall in the midwest is like winter in Florida because the weather is nice and you can open the windows and go for walks outside. Winter in Florida is like summer in the midwest because you never. go. outside. It gets a little confusing.

The other thing that catches me off guard is when I can't remember which state I'm in. This usually happens when I'm trying to remember how to get to a store at which I don't usually shop. Office Max is at the corner of ... different intersections start flashing through my mind ... which one, which one?! Wait - what state am I in again? FL, no, IL, right, I'm in Chicago .... it's on the tip of my tongue ... what's that one street? Oh yeah, Howard and McCormick!

Moving back to Michigan is weirding me out too. Back home. After 4 years - that's most of my married life. Home has this weird "everything's the same, but everything's different" feel to it, like when you come back home to visit over Christmas break after you've moved away to college. Every one is still the same, but they've all moved on. Matt and I talk about the weird things. He's in a friend's wedding this September and we'll talk about the logistics.
"So we're going to wake up in the morning in our own bed."
"And I'm going to have all my shoes and hair accessories and makeup, so I can change my mind and try new things on if I don't like the way something looks."
"And we're going to get dressed without worrying if anything got wrinkled in a suitcase."
"And we're going to drive there in our car."
"And we're going to drive home."
"To our house."
"And put our clothes away in our closet."
"And go to bed in our bed."
We just kind of look at one another.
"That'll be weird. But nice too."
"Yeah, it'll be convenient."

We'll see friends, it won't be all "Oh my gosh, she's gotten so big, can you believe it, wait - is that couch new, no - we bought it two years ago, I haven't seen you in two years."
And when we part ways, it won't be all "Oh my gosh, have a safe drive, we totally miss you guys, we can't wait to see you again, yeah - but it'll probably be two Christmases from now, holy shit - it snows in this state."

Well, it snows in Chicago too, but they actually plow roads in the city. And we don't drive much here.

In 13 days, I'll be sitting on this couch in a different state.

Holy shit, did you know I'm moving?

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