I was nine (almost ten) weeks along. Yesterday I started noticing some light spotting and it grew heavier and brighter in color until this evening when it was joined by cramping. The cramps grew worse and worse until about 9:30pm when I decided to go to the hospital. By the time I reached the hospital, the cramps were contractions. I passed everything at the hospital. An ultrasound at 11:10pm revealed an empty uterus.
I feel sad - I really wanted
It's 2:15am right now. I'm home. In a dark dining room lit by the bright white light of my computer scree. I'm still having contractions. They're light enough to discharge me from the ER, but strong enough to make sleeping difficult. Hence the blogging.
We don't have health insurance, and I'm really worried about the bill. Just this afternoon I got rejected from the insurer of last resort. Not really sure where to go from here. Matt and I haven't talked about it yet, but I think we're going to try to avoid getting pregnant again until insurance at his new job kicks in. Not that we were trying to get pregnant this time. It was unexpected, but very, very wanted.
Want to know what else happened today/yesterday? Our car got side-swiped. Long time readers can attest to how much I love my car. My Contour, the car I owned before our current Focus, was the car I had since I was 16 years and 4 months old. I had it longer than I have ever lived at one address in my entire life. I was really attached to it. When it finally gave up on life, I had a difficult transition moving to the Focus. But soon after we got it, we entered Baby Heart Saga and it really carried me though. I had a lot of good cries on that steering wheel. It really bonded us. Now some asshole hit it and the side is dented and scratched. I'm allowed to swear, I just had a miscarriage 4 hours ago. The damage is all superficial and rumor is that since it was a hit and run on a parked car, our deductible should be waved. I'll call to confirm on Monday. Nothing will get done tomorrow. Except me bleeding. Damn there is a lot of blood involved in a miscarriage.
Well, that is that. Maybe we should have waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone. Now I have to email everyone. But telling everyone means I got a lot of in-the-meantime prayers. And I need some prayers right now.
My baby is gone. I hurt.