29 September 2009

I Love Torts

My favorite class is Torts. That is, when Matt scoffs and says, "listen to this," I find that Tort cases are always the most interesting. I've also taken to calling people torts, as an insult. They are too, liabilities to my tax dollars, common sense, understanding of what makes a sane, intelligent human.

28 September 2009

Chore Rebellion

Matt's homework rebellion makes me think about my own lifestyle changes, and I've realized that I have chore rebellion. I've always done most the chores, but usually Matt could pitch-in, cleaning the litter pans if I didn't feel good, doing the dishes if I got sick of it, helping fold the laundry. He also had his own chores: doing the finances and taking out the trash mostly. But now, I do it all.

I am tired of doing the dishes every day, only to have a new stack waiting for me that evening. I am tired of doing the finances. I hate math and I'm bad with numbers and it takes me hours several days a month. I hate being the one to stress about money. But mostly, I hate the monotony of doing the same thing every day. Some days I flat out refuse to do the dishes, but then they pile up and by the next morning, I can't stand the mess anymore and end up cleaning the entire apartment, if only to get rid of the feeling of dirt.

But c'est la vie, this is just part of life: overcoming the monotony. This is the memory I tap into for inspiration:
I used to wear a lot of black, especially in high school. But as I moved into college and who I was started changing and growing, I got sick of the gothic nature of all black, but I didn't have the money to up and buy a whole new wardrobe. So whenever I would buy clothes, I'd just choose other colors. A brown or blue sweater instead of black, a green or white tank top. At first, having one shirt with color seemed pathetic. 6 days a week, I still wore black. But slowly, surely, I'd have 2, then 3 outfits with color. It took months, but one afternoon, I showed up at my then-boyfriend's house wearing stylishly-cut blue jeans, a pink tank top and a brown long sleeved shirt. That afternoon it dawned on me: my months-long project was finally complete! I started all-black and I ended in my vision! It's the same thing with working out: you can only lose 1 inch at a time, but in 3 months, that'll be a whooping 5 inches. Changing, overcoming the monotony, is a hurry up and wait kinda game. You have to keep working and keep waiting. But when you do, you'll be or do, whoever or whatever you wanted.

27 September 2009

Homework Rebellion

We're experiencing our first weekend of homework rebellion. My husband is full up to his ears in both homework and a desire to relax. We're both feeling it actually, the old days, when we had weekends off and we watched movies, played games, ate junk food and relaxed. We watched Netflix, old episodes of The Office. We didn't just lay around, we went for bike rides, several a week and usually a long stretch during the weekend at a state park. We went for walks in the nearby parks. It was a lot of fun and we really enjoyed our free time. But after a month of working hard, we've slid into a weekend of hardly working. A few hours Friday night, a few hours Saturday afternoon has been all the time my hubby has spent on homework. So here we are, Sunday afternoon and he isn't ready for tomorrow.

It isn't about focus or dedication or laziness. This is an issue with adjusting. It has commonalities with a new year's resolution. Resolutions are easy at first, those with any discipline can stick it out for the first month, but after the initial excitement wears off, after the motivation begins to wane, that's when the going gets tough. But unlike losing weight or cleaning the house, Matt can't just give up. He needs to continue to plug away, reaching deeper and trying harder to do the work. They say the first few months of law school are so difficult because learning law is like learning a different language. I think it is also caused, especially for someone whose been out of school for a few months, by a serious change in lifestyle habits.

So that's where we are now; a hatred of homework, a desire to come home and unwind, versus a syllabus of never-ending reading.

At times like this, I wish I could do the reading for him. As if it were a chore, dishes don't care who does them, so long as they get done. But even if I can do his torts reading, I can't answer the questions for him in tort class.

23 September 2009

A famine in the Job Hunt

My only solace is that no one is getting a job. I've only talked to one person whose found a job so far. Not even the local grocery store is hiring. I overheard the cashier tell another customer to try again in late October/early November, maybe there would be something then.

Oh well, who needs money, right? Not us!

On the weather front, it's amazing how nice 80* feels when one is used to the mid-90s. When we first moved here, 87* with 95% humidity is with what we'd wake up. But this morning, I enjoyed my walk home from the gym thanks to the "cool" temps and gentle breeze. The humidity didn't make me want to choke either. Yesterday I wore jeans and drank hot chocolate just to spite Florida. The first day of fall warrants these behaviors, no matter what the temperature.

19 September 2009

A day in the life of a Law Schol Wife

6:15am-wake up, make the bed, make Matt's lunch, pack his backpack(1)
7:15am-stretch while he eats breakfast
8:00am-gym time!(2)
9:30am-get home, stretch and make a protein shake(3)
10:15am-shower
11:15am-clean the apartment, do chores
12:00pm-lunch break
12:30pm-special project-job hunt, grocery shop, do the finances, depends on the day
2:40pm-Matt gets home, listen about his day
3:15pm-Matt does homework, I finish the afternoon project or read or something
5:00pm-make dinner
5:45pm-eat dinner, talk about Matt's homework or interesting we were thinking about
6:45pm-read, craft, watch episodes of Lost(4)
10:00pm-Matt finishes homework, get ready for bed
10:30pm-lay in bed, listening to Matt sleep until I finally fall myself

Well, that's my life right now, as boring as it seems. Now does it make sense why I spend all day thinking about babies and MLIS-es?



(1) I like packing his backpack, not only does it save time because I do it while he is in the shower, but then I know what classes he has, what books he's on, etc. It makes me feel more connected.

(2) I look forward to this time a, because I want a better body; and b, because it makes me feel productive--I'm tired, I've gotten off my butt and done something! I'm not at the gym right now because my legs are too sore from yesterday. As soon as I post this, I'm planning on doing a few ab moves from a past Women's Health magazine.

(3) Protein shakes are not for muscles, they are because I have a particular conditions that improves when I have a lot of protein.

(4) I'm currently addicted, I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm all caught up on past seasons. I guess just read and craft in silence.

18 September 2009

Ladies Night, PS

PS. Tons of women at the party joked about starting their own business instead of finding a job. As a psych minor, I find this very intriguing.

Plus it helps that I've had urges to start my own business here since we've moved.

Ladies Night

Last night was Ladies Night hosted by the Law Partners group. Law Partners is designed for the spouses of students. There is something about law school that not even family understands, so this group is supposed to help us bond over our common circumstances. It was nice to get out, chat with people, talk about what makes Florida different, why Naples is good or bad. Thankfully no one wanted to discuss their baby's feeding schedule, as is common in girl parties, but there certainly was the element of an ignorance surrounding all current events, which I find is common in women of conservative religious circles. I didn't meet any best friends, but I did click with a few different women. The biggest thing I found was that everyone was job hunting. A few women with kids were happy to stay home, but those who were still pregnant, only had one, or had no kids at all, were looking for jobs. Most of the people I talked to mentioned nannying, working at day cares, or being a secretary. As I have my Bachelors from a Big Ten university, I am not interested in any of those positions, but these people still pose distinct threats should Matt and I feel desperate enough for me to find a job answering phones, but largely, because they are also tapping Ave Maria as a major job source, as am I.

In Michigan, education vs. experience was a very big debate. I heard in three different interviews for serious positions that I was candidate number 2, and that they had chose to go with experience over my education and enthusiasm. So frustrating! I haven't heard that in Florida yet, but that's mostly because I haven't had an interview. I went to a job fair, which was a bust, but that's hardly an interview.

I did apply at a temp agency, but haven't gotten anything yet. The temp agency could be perfect should Matt need to travel during his summers. We'll see.

14 September 2009

Waging War

If I have to scrub this apartment every single day, I will find no more bugs. Today it was ants, swarming the cat food, crawling all over the bowls.

cockroach
ants
gecko
more ants

They lied when they said they spray for bugs once a week.

Then again, they lied about a lot of things.

12 September 2009

Subconscious

When I was out driving today, I felt the smallest twinge that maybe, just maybe, part of me is beginning to feel that Naples is home. I saw a freeway sign "I-75 South - Miami." It wasn't foreign.

11 September 2009

Boredom

We're ending the third week of law school and you're probably wondering how life is treating us. Well, hmmm.

I am so bored it's insane. There are so few jobs down here. People say that Michigan is worse than Florida, but I can tell you that Naples is worse than Ann Arbor. Understandable; big city v small city. Every morning I go to the gym, do some chores around the house, job hunt. Then it's lunchtime and only 3 hours till Matt gets home. I read a lot, surf the net (so far, I've gotten "addicted" to 2 new shows and caught up on all the missed seasons of The Office), do lots of crochet and needlepoint. But the boredom doesn't end when Matt gets home. We talk when he first gets home, then he goes and reads. We eat dinner together, but then it's back to the books till bedtime. I'll interrupt him occasionally to tell him something interesting I learned, or he'll tell me about a case he's reading. Then we go to bed, wake up and do it all over again. Weekends are the worst. It's all reading all day. Sunday nights we sometimes go to the beach, but we've only had two weekends so far, so we don't have a schedule. We sit in almost complete silence, Matt occasionally sighing and turning a page. Aside from the gym, I'm also taking a class through the local adult ed program; exploring my hobbies.

I'm no stranger to lonely silence, I fill it with thought, but lately I can only think of two things: babies and MLIS. I'm not pregnant or anything, but I feel like I should be. I feel like we're missing something. All of the other new families we know have kids, everyone in our circles, I feel so far behind. It's the next step, and I am so eager to take it. I want a little baby who knows my smell, my sound, prefers it above others. I want to watch my husband cuddling with a baby, laughing and smiling at all the cute things the baby does. I am weary of picking out clothes and toys for other people's babies. I even picked out the cutest bedding.

The other thing I think a lot about is having a Masters Degree in Library and Information Science (MLIS). I sorely regret not getting it directly after I got my Bachelors. This past summer, I applied and got into Wayne State's program, which offers a 100% online option and online students pay the resident tuition. Sounds perfect, right? So why am I not there....*sigh*...it's a long story.

Not to mentioned that my ocd goes crazy with an extreme of any emotion, including boredom. Um yeah, the apartment is spotless.

So, in sum, Law School Wife 3-week check in: depressed, bored, and ocd-ed.